14 Days till 2015

I know i started my last post like this but guess what?... I looked at my last post and was wowed out by how long ago it all seemed! *giggle*

1. Newton and I broke up! I felt betrayed, mistreated, battered and bruised and most importantly i felt as though he had really wasted my time!! But when i took the time to reflect, I realised that it wasn't a total waste of time, he just really taught me what I don't want in a relationship, I just wish I had left sooner because even when I was writing the last post i knew that i should leave but I convinced myself repeatedly that I had to give him a little more time to dig his own grave! I'm never going into a relationship where I have to compromise more than half of my personal values, real WASTE I tell you.

2. I passed second semester!! WHOOP WHOOP!! Super weird how I almost failed on of the subjects!! Just super super sucks because I believe I invested so much more time this semester than last but my marks this semester were lower... I forgive myself though because this year was just a lot to swallow and I've had to just carry on and I'm alright with that. Under the circumstances i did well. I'm going to do better next time. 

3. I did my license in October and I passed!!!! YAY!!! Another item to tick of my to do list!! Funny thing about driving is that even after you have the license you're learning something new every time you drive. Concentration is key!

This year has been quite weird it's all going to be over in 14 short days and then we'll count this year as history. I've looked over my new years resolutions and i think I've done pretty well. I didn't complete everything but I'm quite impressed with the determination that was prevalent throughout the year. I do have quite a bit to work on and top of the list is SELF-DISCIPLINE, that's going to be my constant theme throughout the course of next year!! I've come to realise that when all is said and done it's all about what you make this body do or not do (this theory is totally in line with my beliefs and values and so I aim to live by it).

Just 14 more days to go!!

8 Months in!!

I looked at my last post and was wowed out by how long ago it all seemed!

1. Newton and I will have been dating for 6 months on the 17th of this month (I've learned quite a lot about myself, relationships, my boyfriend and the world around in this time). Lessons that are quite interesting and perhaps quite important to share: FIRSTLY: relationships in real life are nothing like the ones on tv and movies, real ones require more than just a dramatic first meeting. SECONDLY: you cannot expect more in a relationship than you are willing to sacrifice, this is a real recipe for disaster. THIRDLY: all relationships are different I can't measure mine and what's going on in mine to anyone else's all I can do is pray for my partner and enjoy the ride.

2. I graduated on 16 May (I'm so glad I went to the actual ceremony!! Although there was tears in my eyes that I wasn't able to share that day with the people I had been on school with, and that it was only happening 3 years later, on that day I celebrated personal victory and geared myself up for first semester exams for my second qualification).

3. I passed first semester!! Whoop whoop!! Not as well as I would've liked to but that's ok, I have semester two to sort myself out and make sure that I make time each and every week to study and work on each subject so that when exam season comes I'm not pressed for time like last time! Get thee behind me procrastination!!

4. I did my license test sometime in June.. And I failed :-( but I got another date and I have another chance to try so chin up and here we go again!!

This year so far has been quite the roller coaster but guess what??... It's really not as bad as it seems! I was talking to this lady this afternoon and I've come to realise and acknowledge what a spoiled brat I've been lately just because things haven't been going entirely my way... I have decided to surrender my will to God and allow Him to take the lead and whatever he decides will be fine with me.

Help me Lord to believe and know that you have my best interests at heart.

It is well with my soul 

APRIL ALREADY

It's the last day of March and I can't help but note HOW fast this year is going by. I'm reminded of some resolutions I made at the beginning of the year and I look now at the list and can't help but be SUPER amazed at how fast this year is flying by... before i know it the semester will be over and I'll be writing mid year exams.

Some points that I have to note is that:

1. I have a boyfriend now. His name is Newton, and he's super amazing (I'd been single for almost 4 years before him so it's going to take some patience to now start sharing my life with someone else. Where I was able to stay up doing my own work at my own pace I now spend a lot of my time replying to mails, replying texts, calling and chilling with a new person in my life).

2. I started a BBA course almost at the end of February (I haven't really studied or applied my mind and intellect to anything in a while and so this comes as quite the challenge but I'm so glad to be taking this step as it gives me opportunity to, with no excuses apply my mind to studying something that I have chosen myself and excel at it, not to prove anything to anyone but to strut at the knowledge that I have obeyed my parents and now I'm doing what I've chosen).

3. I'm graduating in May (after completing my course I was unable to graduate as my parents were unable to pay the rest of my school fees so I had to make an arrangement with the university to make small payments until I get a decent job, to pay them off properly, and that's exactly what I did, even when times were tough I made monthly payments of R200 a month, this I did faithfully from January 2011 till November 2012 when I finally got a job that payed me decently enough to make bigger payments. Finally, last year I made my last payment and applied to graduate in the first graduation for the year and last month I got a letter saying CONGRATULATIONS!! At first I didn't want to walk up the isle and experience graduation, but now, even though it'll be quite an expensive exercise, I believe I owe it to too many people, i.e. My God, My family and MYSELF).

4. I'm working towards getting my license by the end of this year (unlike other years, this year I am taking the bull by the horns literally and taming it's bully ASS!! I'm going to apply to test and test until I get it. I truly hope that I get it fist time because it's quite an expensive beast to conquer but THIS year I'm doing what I've been putting off for just WAY too long).

There's alot of things that I wanted to do this year, that I even put on my news year's resolutions, that I haven't got around to doing but, judging by the things I have achieved this year, I'm not complaining, instead I'm celebrating and re-looking, re-strategising... so that when the year is over I'll say I did exactly what I had planned to do and SO much more!

Welcome April...
You're here way sooner than I anticipated, but at least you haven't caught me inactive, I'm ready for whatever it is you have up your sleeve!!

So much more is expected...

There's been a 2 week crusade at our church that started last friday and will end next sabbath. Last night's sermon has really put the tone on the rest of the year. I felt spoken to directly. The pastor is Pastor Randy Skeet, and that man is anointed of God, he has probably read the Bible like 50 times over because he recites it and other good literature as if it is imprinted in his mind. Yesterday the title of the sermons was, "why is the first commandment first?"and the scripture reading was from Gen 25:29-34 (the story of Esau selling his birthright to his younger brother Jacob)

Some lessons that I gathered from the sermon last night are:

• Do not allow temporal "needs" come between  those things that are supposed to be 
• your most valuable possession
• Do not take advantage of others. God takes this personally.
• DO NOT HELP GOD! Just trust Him to do what's best for you.
• Whomever/ whatever directs your life & choices becomes your god/ God (you need to decide carefully)
• When God commissions you to do something, don't give excuses, just DO IT, He will enable you. Ex 4:10-17
• You must not fear that you'll lose something from being obedient to God, if you do lose it, then that thing was not worth having to even begin with.
• The tendencies of the natural heart of the natural heart are downward so you have to make a conscious decision to choose God.
• You need to determine in your heart who your God is , because it is that God that will help you in the time of the end. 

At some point he was speaking of education as he was talk ing about the events of Daniel 1 and the determination of the 4 hebrew boys to hold firm to the teachings of their parents and how much more is expected of me as a child of God, i cannot be mediocre simply because I'm a child of God, there's a certain level of excellence that God EXPECTS.

And so the tone was set.

God will help me. As I remember why the first commandment was made first.

Running vs LIFE

I did my first half marathon yesterday, didn't do it in "marvellous" time but what counts for now is that I finished. 

There are so many lessons that I picked up while running, and as I'd learn, I'd smile to myself and continue running. We started off by arriving somewhat late, if there was nothing we need to do before the starting time it would've been fine but some team members of ours needed to get race numbers from another team members so the task was to help each other find the missing race numbers even after the gun had gone off. About 5 minutes into the race while floating amongst hundreds of people it dawned on me that we're all living life, all on a stairway to one of two places, heaven or hell. We're striving we're all fighting in one way or the other to achieve what we perceive to success. Another very important point that dawned on me is that Jesus knows each of us by name and know everyone of our businesses, to the last detail as if you were the only on the road. 

While running I came across some interesting characters, some of which I had seen at races before this one. The one that caught my attention quite intensely is this white old lady who walks. Now, when I say walks, I don't mean a slow, lazy pace but a very brisk and fast pace, if I'd estimate i'd say she walks at about 6,8 - 7km/hour and she keeps that pace throughout... She doesn't slow down at all... In fact for a while she was ahead of me, then when I regained my energy I zoomed past her, but she made me think of how important it is to be consistent in the good things you decide to do. 

Then there was was this black couple, I'm not sure what their names were, I didn't really ask... All I know is that we were with each other throughout the race, they'd go ahead of me and rest and vice versa... The guy was mostly encouraging the lady. They both taught me how important it is to have an accountability partner or a companion that you can walk this life with, for the benefit of both of you. (They ended up finishing a little ahead of me)

Then finally there was this random guy who just started running with me, as we ran he would tell me bout the people he was running with before he got to me, we kept a good pace but after a while I felt a bit sapped and soaked out having to encourage while I was struggling myself so I left him for the sake of my sanity. He wasn't a bad partner for a while but when he started feeling heavy I had to cut him off. He ended up beating me at the end but that's not the point. I just learned this important unwritten rule that if it's too heavy for you to carry, weigh your options, if it's worth keeping then carry your cross with patience, but if not... Do not hesitate to cut all ties!! It'll do you the world of good, even if it turns out that you made a bad choice... Don't regret! You did what you thought was good for you at the time... So it's fine!!

Here's to remembering the first 21,1km I ever ran!!

Another year!!

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

24 YEARS OLD, AND NOT EVEN ASHAMED!

Another year has gone by and all I can do is give thanks and celebrate life that I've been gifted with! God has been super gracious to me. 

I believe I've done really well! Looking at my past achievements and the things I've challenged myself to do, just for today I can look at everything and say well done ME!! Tomorrow I'll look at what I can better but today's just time set aside to give myself a pat on the back and just smile about it :-)

THANK YOU GOOGLE!! 

You're definitely making some kind of progress!

I've been trying to lose weight for the longest time but for the first time last year some weight started shedding off but that was purely because i actually put my back into it. Started exercising regularly, eating as clean as I could, in winter i even started running (as in road running and doing some road running races). It was really cool. I was getting so excited, by october I had lost an incredible 16 Kg's.

I believe I started getting somewhat big headed or something but I gained 3 kg's by December and I've been on this same weight since. My goal is to shed 25Kg's this year. I need to finally reach my GOAL weight. I've been seeing so many people I know or people I knew looking great in their "new bodies" and I'm not jealous but i can't help looking at my own body and thinking WHY ME!?!?! I know I have to work a bit harder especially where food is concerned because apparently weight loss is 80% nutrition and 20% exercise so i can't slack not even one bit in that regard!

Just when I was starting to think I'm not getting anywhere with this weight loss thing someone I met in November, at the time of my supposed weight gain told me that she's noticing that I've lost quite a lot of weight since she first met me which was late last year.

This made me think of a very crucial life lesson, and that is: if you're putting in the time and effort, you're definitely making some kind of progress, no matter how small. I remember blogging about the fact that it is all the small victories that make up the big victory, and this theory is so important and true especially if you're as hard on yourself as I tend to be and I just keep having to remind myself that no matter how small the progress is, it still counts as progress!

Here's to making progress!!

getting really close to the mark!

Don't stop dreaming

Don't stop dreaming, ever!! Whoever tells you to stop is trying to trap you in a deep dark dungeon of uselessness and hopelessness. Stay away from people who challenge you not to dream bigger. My dad isn't a man of many friends, in fat when he was young his mother used to warn him about friends and say they weren't good for him and they'd waste his time. Well fortunately my dad didn't pass that teaching down to me but what he did warn me about was having friends who are below peer level in all aspects and facets of life. He always used to say, you must have friends that are peer level and above. I listened to him and now it makes perfect sence. The theory behind the concept is that you need to be around people that you can relate to and people who you can learn from. Of course it doesn't hurt to have a few friends that learn from you but you will soon realise that it is tiring to always be on the teaching end you must constantly be learning and teaching and the stream must constantly flow or else the relationship will tire you out.

What point am I getting to?

Well DO NOT STOP DREAMING! If people don't want to dream with you it's fine, dream alone!! There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

When the dreams slow down, get inspiration from someone who you believe dreams big. 

CAUTION: DO NOT JUST STOP AT DREAMING THIS WILL GET YOU NOWHERE! MAKE PLANS TO MAKE THESE DREAMS COME TRUE! THIS INTURN CONVERTS YOUR DREAMS INTO SMALLER DOABLE GOALS!

BACK TO REALITY!

I got back to work yesterday!! It was quite busy, not falling over and and tripping over files busy but it was busy nonetheless. So i made some promises to myself at the beginning of the year, also known as New Years' resolutions but i  made sure that at some point I'll follow up on myself and make sure that i'm still doing for MYSELF what i promised to do. I realised that one thing this year, that I am so unfaithful!! especially to myself and that is very bad. The Bible says that you must love your neighbour as yourself, I think by implication God expects us to love ourselves dearly! Hmmmm, well, how do you love someone that you're not even faithful to? I'm not saying this is going to be a selfish year but I am saying that I'm going to keep tabs on myself so that i can be the best person I can be, not only for myself but for the service and love of others!!

Here's to keeping it real!

It's 2014 and I'm falling behind on my blogs!

Want it THAT bad!!!

For you to do something GREAT, something worth telling the world about, something that makes a huge impact, you need to want it that bad!! I've been looking back at the year a bit and wondering what was on my new years resolution list and wanting to make things right before the end of the year(i didn't jot anything down but there were distinct things that i wanted to change that I just knew off the top of my head. These things include 1. losing weight (I lost 18 Kg's this year) 2. Save money for a car (there's no money worth mentioning in the bank as i type this) 3.Upgrade my portfolio and make an illustration portfolio (that never happened) 4. Get my license (i got my learners earlier this year, i'm still learning, which is a move in the right direction) 5. Pay off debt (I did that this year and officially, I'm debt free, apart from gym membership which I don't even think counts as debt)

Anyway, I could go on and on about things that I wanted to do and actually ended up doing and things that I didn't end up doing and bla bla bla but the point that I'm trying to make is that whichever I deemed important, I did. And those that I thought could take the back seat did and so now on this twenty fourth day of December I can either look back and beat myself up because of all the things I didn't end up doing or I can congratulate myself and celebrate the little victories and just try that much harder next year because it will mean that much more to me next year since no one likes repeating he same mistake twice. 

Here's the idea I leave with myself and to you, the reader, is that for you to eventually get what you want or achieve what you want you NEED to WANT it THAT bad!!! If you want it that bad there's genuinely no stopping you even through the toughest times so quit making excuses!!!!

Keep your eyes on the target...

It's my first day back to work since last week... Being home made me think somewhat of what I ultimately want to do and what I have to do for now until can do what see myself doing in my dreams. 

I must admit that when the days add up and turn into weeks, months, years... It feels as though you're just not getting anywhere and that your dreams will never come to fruition... Well, it feels that way, but not everything you feel is true! In fact those feelings are a defense mechanism that your body figures is okay to protect you against what you imagine as failure (that my own theory... Lol) I believe your body means well.

This is when you have to allow the will to take control of he situation! Tell yourself to focus on the bull's eye... It's what will keep you sane, and will definitely keep you going!! It's your little pep talks to yourself that need to get louder when you're getting somewhat distracted!

Here's to keeping your eyes on the target!! 

Fighting alone

This day was quite the challenge. Last week and the week before were was tough but this week feels psychologically worse. Past two weeks were BUSY so i could at least have my mind on other things, ie. WORK, and fixing the mess that i made. Now, i'm sort of on the right track and on the straight and narrow, there's no need for me to be overly focussed on passed errors but rather to keep the pace and not forget the commitments i made to myself.

So where does the challenge come in? Well when you're putting in time, doing things differently, reading more, praying more etc. it feels as though you're alone and there's no one who cares etc. truth of the matter is you're right... hmmmm NO BODY CARES!! In fact nobody has to! Yours is to keep on going, keep on keeping on! The reason very few people are multi million and billionaires is because a lot of people are doing the common thing which is to get study, get a job and abide by the system. Don't follow the crowd... Rather walk alone. Wak on the road less travelled it bares way more rewards!

So what exactly am I saying?...

Well, you're walking alone and that's just too bad and sad but be a man and just suck it up! We'll talk about support structures and motivation some time but as it stands... TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!

Here's to fighting alone!!

Celebrating little victories

If ever there's anyone I know who's super hard on themselves it's me! I know exactly how to beat myself up, and I know what to beat myself up about and boy do I do that often and GOOD!! 

A little lesson I've had to teach myself is that the beatings aren't always necessary!! Sometimes you have to let thins go and other times you have to celebrate even those things that haven't worked out!!! Why celebrate things that haven't worked out? Well, because thy weren't meant to be. "All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Rom 8:28 and now instead of ranting and raving when things don't work out or when I have made a mistake I do one or 2 of 3 things, beat myself up, give myself a pep or have a praise party and celebrate because what looks like defeat is actually victory, because I am more than a conqueror through Jesus Christ my Lord (Rom 8:37).

Now when things go right on the other hand there's no picking and choosing you have to celebrate even small victories, in as many ways as possible because in as much as I beat myself up for things I do wrong, I have to reward myself for even those things that don't seem to count! Small victories add up you know, they are the building blocks for big, visible victories! 

It'll be a difficult exercise if it's something you're not used to doing but it'll be well worth the try!

Here's to celebrating small victories!!

Try methods of working I've never tried before

Albert Einstein defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results! 

I think I'm insane, and the I'm ok with saying that because I've heard that psychologists say that the first step to recovery is admitting that there's actually something wrong with, and there you go I admitted it (•_•)

I've noticed that a lot of the reason why some of us aren't achieving our full potential is because we're afraid of trying the alternative of what we're already doing, ie. doing a task differently, trying  completely new ways of doing things. I believe our greatest fear is stepping into the unknown and actually succeeding, fear of succeeding!! You never would've thought of this right? But the reality is that there's so muh uncertainty in succeeding, and guess what? It just gets worse and worse!! But the secret is not to fear this but to embrace the possibility of a life filled with adventure!

When someone presents me with the opportunity of trying something ice never tried before, depending on what it is I will usually shun away from this, and guess what that's called? Shooting yourself in the toes because a lot of the opportunities that are presented to us are a direct call out of a comfort zone and into a place that you may just fully enjoy if you play your cards right!

If it isn't a part of your character to allow the wind to carry you all sorts of interesting directions, I suggest you start opening your mind to such possibilities if you don't want to be left behind by the rest of us who are willing to at least try!!

Here's to trying different ways of doing things!!

Put in the time...

I'm a firm believer in chilling. Some experiences have taught me that chilling is of utmost importance! You need to rest (even though you may sometimes feel guilty for taking time out), you need to have some quiet time as in time doing absolutely NOTHING! 

With the same breath, however, I'm also a strong believer in working hard! And putting in the time! I must be honest upfront and admit that I haven't been doing this very honestly lately which means I have cheated myself of 3 years that could've been used and cultivated on other skills! The idea is that whatever time you put in will not come back to you void, i.e. If you spend an hour and a half every day perfectly practicing a particular skill you'll be a pro in what will seem like no time at all!

Apparently a habit takes 21 days to form, and if you've tried to see if this is true you know that it's so hard even to get to day 5! 21 days is a HELL of a long time but you have to keep at it, if of course forming the habit means so much to you.

Experts say that it takes 10000 hours to develop an expert level of skill... That is A LOT of time!! I did some Maths to see how long this would take if you worked at your skill for 8 solid hours every single day of a 365 day year... It worked out to about 3 and a half years! Yeah, so much for 21 days hey...

We sometimes look at people that call themselves experts and wonder how they got there and according to my very little research it actually just boils down to diligently putting in the time! It's your choice. No one's promising an easy road but you'll thank yourself 10000 hours later when you can proudly call yourself expert in your field simply because you had the will to invest in yourself.

Here's to putting in the time!

Work 6 days a week...

I don't know about you, but I trust EVERYTHING that comes from the Bible, especially those things that are said to be ordained, or made holy by God Himself. God made a 7 day week, He worked for 6 days and rested on the seventh. Now this isn't  a platform to argue which day should you be resting and which days you should be working but just me pointing out that like almost everything else... This phenomenon too has stood the test of time. 

People who work the required amount of days and rest completely once a week are the most productive(my personal opinion and an open to discussion on this point). The idea is that our bodies have been beautifully created this way and you know what, when put under subjection, it obeys and you're able to complete a lot more tasks than you thought it "humanly" possible to complete.

So amongst the other things I'm giving a try I'm giving this working 6 days phenomenon idea, I bet it'll all be worth it! 

I've always been an ambassador for working smart and not hard and over time I've established that it makes better sense to work hard at first so that it's possible and sensible to work smart afterwards... So for 2 days now I've worked... And I'd like to believe that I've worked super hard and for the next let's day 2 years or so I'll be doing this so that when the seeds have been down and the manual labour has been completed, I can sit back and watch the fruits of the labour I put sprout. 

Here's to working 6 days a week (•_•)

Wake up an hour earlier...

My mother wakes up at 3am on most mornings, she reads the Bible, prays and has what we call "Quiet time, in her secret place with God". The Bible isn't specific on what time Jesus woke up, but it does say that he woke up well before dawn. Now this isn't a call to do what Jesus did, or what my mother does but rather a call to consider what the benefits of this exercise are and then through a calculated and well thought of decision consider if it's a good idea. 

Basically the basic theory isn't to wake up at 2am and 3am in the morning but rather, just 1 hour earlier than usual, so if you're normally up at 05:30 like me then you must set your clock for 04:30 and actually get up when the alarm goes off, apparently the struggle only goes on for 30 days after which the task becomes one of your daily habits. 

What does this help, with you may ask. Well, it's fairly simple, if you wake up an hour earlier:

1. You have just managed to add an hour  to your previously busy and crowded day.

2. It helps you have a bit of a head start.

3. It's quieter at this time of the day so you are able to do the things that you wouldn't usually be able to do on a regular morning. For me such things include praying, meditating, reflecting, planning for the day ahead... 

I could think of a lot more things that this practice can benefit you with but it's a bit late and I have to sleep now... At this point I don't have much to lose except my pride and dignity, so I guess I'll give this a try and see how it goes. I'll keep you all updated on how it goes and the challenges that go with waking up this much earlier.

Here's to trying this morning thing!

Clear your name...

This morning I've wondering what the biggest lesson I've learned from my horrible experience at work this passed week is, and it's boiled down to this: 

When life throws you lemons, you have to make something out of them unless you're happy with the "sourness" of lousy lemons, be creative! Lemons aren't only good for lemonade! 

This passed week, my biggest challenge was waking up, putting on a big smile and not allowing anyone around me to see how bothered I was by the situation! That really helped me, made me stronger of course but also made me realise, and live the notion that not everyone has to know about your sufferings. It was tough, the week took much longer than usual but I made it out, I tried my best and made it through the week. 

Another week begins today and the challenge is to move forward confidently with my head held high. No one says I should forget what happened last week, and quite frankly I would be a fool if I'd forget (only fools disregard life lessons of the past), but the most important thing is to move forward fearlessly and do what needs to be done to come out spotlessly clean on the other side.

Funny how the road from here on out is going to be one of the hardest, but if I follow the plan through, the destination will be called success!! 

Some of the things I've planned to do is:

1. Wake up an hour earlier every morning

2. Work 6 days a week

3. Put in the time

4. Try methods of working I've never tried before

5. Work faster & more accurate

6. Go to the gym, conquer there too

7. Be excellent

8. Pray, like I've never prayed before

When time has gone by, a year from now, I want to look back on this list and share these 8 things as a fool proof way to get ahead, clear your name and be a HUGE success even when people thought you wouldn't be able to!! I'll expound more on each point as the week goes by, ultimately the key is, "never, ever ever give up!"- Winston Churchill.

It'll all be worth it at the end, so, it's not over till the fat lady sings... And she sure as hell isn't singing because I can't hear any fat lady singing!

Here's to coming out skweeky clean!!!

Choosing to be okay

I've been so busy lately, the retail industry is already preparing for Christmas so we're horribly busy. I'm not sure I enjoy being this busy, I don't feel very useful, I fact I feel vulnerable and susceptible to error! 

In this time a lot has happened and of course I have learned a lot... It would all have been in vain if I wouldn't have learned any life lesson at all!

1. No body in this world can ever care more about you than you care about yourself, if you don't care about yourself you're screwing yourself over!

2. Read worthwhile books, some of the things you read will keep you sane when no one is saying anything worth hearing.

3. Hang around people that'll uplift you... Negative people suck!

4. Don't tell everyone your business, not everyone is out there to help you out.

Finally...

5. Remember that at any given moment, you have the power to say, "this is not how the story is going to end!"

Decide that you're going to be ok, pray about it, and leave it in God's hands!

So here's to deciding to be ok